Rescue me.

So today I’ve decided to compile a list of everything I would rather do, than be in work.
Here goes.
Piss tester.
Poo sniffer.
Dog food tester.
Collect used toilet roll for recycling.
Fix blocked toilets by hand.
Lick raw fish.
Catch fish with my mouth.
Do a rectal examination with no gloves, on a person with diahorrea.
Test the endurance of phones by having them thrown at my head.
Use fibre glass as a body sponge.
Chew barbed wire.
Shit a light bulb.
Test the effectiveness of clothes pegs by having them clamped to my nipples.
Have my nails replaced with razor blades, while itching powder is put on my clothes.
The list is endless. I think I’ll update this repeatedly.

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